Expectations

I have expectations of myself.

I wouldn't say it's high.

Expectations like for studying so much, okay maybe not that much yet but much,

I wouldn't want to do admin stuffs.

I know, it sounds snobbish

but do u feel me?

I expect to be "put to use" in a different way actually,

just not that way.

So,

I cried.

I know, it's childish.

but I wasn't crying because I was childish,

I felt angry and okay, insulted I have to admit,

like as if I studied so much and u ask me to do admin stuffs.

You know?

Doing it (the admin) makes me feel like I let myself down,

I let my parents down.

It's not that admin stuffs aint good,

just that I'm packed with other stuffs and and and and...

Who understands what I'm harping on?

Sighs

It is tiring to continue.