It's been a month since the delivery of my second child, Alonso.
As parents, we thought experience will make this whole repeated process easier but no, every child is different. For example, with Arissa (my firstborn), she can lie on the bed awake but with Alonso, if he is awake, he has to be carried.
I shopped online A LOT during Arissa's time, but with Alonso, there was practically no shopping online unless U call grocery shopping as shopping.
Okay enough of the comparisons!
No one told me these when I wanted a second kid or when I finally have one.
1. Attention
Everyone or rather most people said to always pay attention to your first kid as they could feel unbalanced. Since the baby can't understand yet, you should try to attend to your first kid first, it's okay to let the second baby cry.
NO. Your second kid deserves your utmost attention too. He/she didn't chose to be second. Just because he/she is second doesn't means that he should be second in line for your attention. If he/she was your first, he would have the 100% attention but because he was born 2nd, he didn't get to enjoy the 100% attention he could have deserved. This little angel of yours didn't choose to be second. So why mama, do U care about jiejie/korkor's feelings before mine? Why? I am also your child, mama.
2. Comparisons
We love to compare, don't we?
Mama, just because jiejie/korkor is easier to take care, doesn't means I'm a difficult baby..Why, mama, do U feel I'm a difficult baby? Why are you always comparing me to your firstborn? If I were first, you would have nothing to compare and you wouldn't think I was being difficult or bad tempered. Why do you call me naughty just because I want you to carry me? Why are U frustrated when I cry for your attention?
3. Panic level
When the first child had any conditions, the alarms in our head goes off and we panicked and goes off to the doctor or even the a&e.
But with the second child, we are more relaxed since we thought with experience, that was nothing.
Alonso had ringworm (skin condition) around his balls (I don't know how he gets it!) and we all thought it was just diaper rash. We tried to self treat it by applying tons of desitin (cream to prevent/treat diaper rash) and even antiseptic powder. He was a cry baby (okay he doesn't cry but he screams) for weeks and had to be carried to sleep. We thought he was a difficult baby, little did we know he had ringworm! Poor baby must be battling the itch! And we only know about that when we visited the doctor for one month review. Told the doctor that he seems to have diaper rash and the doctor took a look and said it's ringworm, some fungi infection blah blah..My heart broke! Then continue to check his mouth and he has some infection as well *cries and bang head on table* MY POOR BABY! U fucking bacteria fungi shit making my baby suffer!
After the meds application, he sleeps like an angel and kind of paying back sleep debt lol, slept like 4-5 hours before waking up for milk. My baby is not difficult, not a difficult baby! Not a naughty boy!
This taught me to be ALWAYS KIASU!
Whatever out of the norms, go to the doctor!
I feel so sorry for Alonso, because he gets compared to Arissa all the time. He was born 2nd not by choice and only have half of the attention by the parents, whereas Arissa at least get to enjoy 1+ years of 100% attention.
The husband said that 1 + 1 is not equals to 2. Having 2 kids is well not the same of having 1 kid + 1 kid. It's totally different from what we expected, I guess.
Will it really be possible to love your kids equally? Honestly? Well, to be honest, I don't think it is possible, since I know my parents love which of my siblings most.
People said to have at least 2 kids so that they can be there for each other, so that they can have company, so that they can share burdens (like when I grow old, both can share in taking care of me financially/physically), so that when the parents die, they have each other..
I totally agree.
There is a lot to sacrifice if U have 2 kids compared to 1, so be prepared if you decided to have more than 1. #iamnotdiscouragingreproduction
When I had Arissa, I was paranoid that I or rather we, couldn't give her the BEST, in terms of financially like going to the best schools, best clothes, best toys. Ya la, I know I was being superficial. That paranoid thinking lasted a month only, let me conclude that was due to post preg depression, shall we? If the problem was about money, then it isn't a problem. The BEST I could give my child was simply LOVE. She doesn't need the best material things in life.
Now that I have Alonso, I worried that my love or rather our love for our kids is insufficient. I worried that we can't love them equally. I worried that others won't love them equally. I worried that my son gets the 2nd kid 'branding'. #thismotherworriesalot
I can't imagine how to manage with a 3rd or 4th kid! I think will go crazy! Choy! Choy! #sorrygovernment #stoppingat2
Here's a picture to make this gloomy post less gloomy!
